A bad idea

Some jokes get into your head and stay there. Of course, we all know persons who say, “I’m terrible at telling jokes. I can’t remember the punch line. When I do tell a joke, it’s not funny.” I’ve never been that person. Some jokes just stay with me and emerge at the worst times. Take yesterday, for example.

I was on the phone from my university office calling a local hospital executive. She and I had not connected after a few attempts by both of us, but – voila – today her administrative assistant said that she was expecting my call and was instructed to find the executive no matter where she was in the hospital. The assistant put me on hold. So far so good.

But then the hold music flooded the earpiece and a promotional message came on. The gentle voice said, “Are you an organ donor?” And I lost it.

No, organ donation isn’t funny. I don’t make light of persons who are waiting for transplants. Yes, this is a serious medical situation involving life and death. That’s not funny.

But at the question, “Are you an organ donor?” the image that flooded my mind was wry George Carlin answering, “No, but once I gave a piano to the Salvation Army.” 

And I lose it every time I think of him saying that. Just writing this makes me laugh. And that’s what I was doing while on hold – laughing. I kept thinking, “Oh, please, don’t come to the phone too soon. Please be somewhere down the corridor so that your assistant has to find you and that will give me a little more time to recover. I have to stop laughing.”

What a bad idea to remember that humor right then. Unfortunately for me, the executive wasn’t far away but picked up the call in a few seconds. And there I was with that tell-tale I’m-not-ready sound in my voice. I did my best to recover and sound professional. But after I said, “Hello,” I burst out laughing all over again.

The executive said, “Are you all right?” I said, “Oh don’t mind me – your hold music is unique. What a great service to callers. I wish more healthcare organizations would provide similar helpful messages that had a health theme. Have you noticed how many places just switch on a radio station? But not you – good going. And thank you.”

So now why were we trying to call each other?

[Sr. Nancy Linenkugel is a Sylvania Franciscan sister and chair of the department of Health Services Administration at Xavier University, Cincinnati, Ohio.]