She can't even

“Honestly, she can’t even.”

“What do you mean? She can’t even what?”

“My friend frustrates me completely. Her house is a mess, her yard is a mess, her car is a mess. I hate visiting at her place because I can’t stand the total mess. She just can’t even.”

“One more time. She can’t even what?”

“Aren’t you listening? She can’t keep her life together. You don’t have to have a lot of possessions or be wealthy or have the fancy things. Just take care of what you have. So my friend is one big fat frustration to me because I truly don’t understand why she can’t even.”

Aha - the intent is slowly coming into view. I’m starting to get it. When you “can’t even” that must mean the end of the line. There’s no hope for you. You’re beyond help. The online "Urban Dictionary" confirms that with its definition as “can’t deal with or can’t handle something or you.”

So could that apply to me, I think to myself. What if my work colleagues think I could be a better listener but they go away saying, “She doesn’t even”? What if I finish playing an orchestra concert and due to lack of practice on the hard spots I realize that “I couldn’t even?" What if folks will peer down into my open casket make the “tsk, tsk” sounds and say, “She couldn’t even?” Good grief – I’d better get going, get even, and stay even.

[Sr. Nancy Linenkugel is a Sylvania Franciscan sister and chair of the department of Health Services Administration at Xavier University, Cincinnati Ohio.]