by Nancy Linenkugel
Contributor
Bob Hope, Faith Hill, President George Bush and Tom Cruise have never had this problem. Anyone with an easy-to-spell-and-pronounce surname has no idea what the rest of us go through. So it’s likely that on February 13 they won’t be giving a second thought to national “Get a Different Name” day. On this clever day, anyone has the right to change his or her name to whatever they’d like it to be – for 24 hours.
As inviting as that sounds, I actually won’t be giving that a second thought, either, despite my 10-letter last name that gets pronounced all sorts of ways and gets spelled to match.
My last name, Linenkugel, is pronounced and spelled exactly as it sounds. Lin-en-koo-gull. Linenkugel. Easy. No silent letters. No diphthongs or other spelling conventions. Just four syllables.
Over the years I’ve been introduced by many persons who get to my last name, stop, sound it out aloud, and usually say it incorrectly. I wait patiently. For years I’ve kept a secret list of the ways others spell my name. My list spans quite a few iterations, and you might be surprised at the high level of education of those who spell my name incorrectly. I thought it would be fun to share a few versions:
Linkenkugel – Gee, could I be a direct descendent of our 16th president?
Leninkugel – Clearly my Bolshevik tendencies have given me away.
Linenkookel – I might be a bit strange, but that makes me interesting, don’t you think?
Linenkool - Of course I’m somebody who’s cool and with-it.
Linunkugel – Finally! Somebody realizes I’m a Sister!
Linenkugal – Yes, I try to be a pal and a great gal.
Linenkegel – Oh, those exercises are way too tiring.
Linenkogel – Not doing those exercises explains why I’m such a weakling and can’t do the shot put.
I like my name, it represents a wonderful family, I have no interest in changing to something simpler, and besides, that would take all the fun out of it. I ask you, how many of you can proudly say you still carry the school nickname of “Linencloset?”
[Sr. Nancy Linenkugel is a Sylvania Franciscan sister and chair of the department of Health Services Administration at Xavier University, Cincinnati, Ohio.]