Isolated? We can learn from cloistered sisters

In the time of COVID-19, the cloistered life offers lessons for the world

March 18, 2020

by Rhina Guidos, Catholic News Service

WASHINGTON — People often telephone Sr. Maria Elena Romero, a Capuchin Franciscan Poor Clare sister in Wilmington, Delaware, to ask for her to pray for a personal intention, to sound out a problem, sometimes just to cry.

But lately, she's received calls with a different kind of problem: boredom.

As people around the world are asked to work from home, limit their contact with others and introduce "social distancing" into their vocabulary and lives, the sheltering in place that authorities are asking people to observe is causing some to go stir crazy.

But for Romero, limiting contact with the world is a part of life she observes as a cloistered nun. That means that like the other dozen or so sisters who live in her Capuchin Franciscan community, she only leaves the confines of the Veronica Giuliani monastery for limited reasons, such as a doctor's appointment. 

When it comes to limiting contact with the outside world, she's kind of an expert.

Her advice for those struggling with the current reality of staying in place? First, make a schedule, she said.

"If you're idle, of course you're going to get bored," she said in a March 16 telephone interview.

The day at the monastery begins at 5 a.m. when the sisters make their beds, get dressed, then head to the chapel for prayer. Though most may not want to get up at this hour, it's a good idea to set a regular time to get up, start the day with prayer, give thanks, then organize work that needs to be done, she said.

Some would be surprised, but life inside a monastery is pretty packed with activity. Though the day revolves around a scheduled set of prayers, there are clothes and dishes to be washed, meals for 12 to prepare, finances to manage, food and supplies to order or buy. Each sister is assigned a chore.

Likewise, at home, she said, make a list of chores or responsibilities that need to be accomplished that day and dole them out: whether it's working from home, doing homework, or cleaning or fixing things. For those who don't have other responsibilities, assign a productive chore to stay busy until lunchtime.

A family member can be assigned to prepare lunch for others, or each person can take up a different task: setting the table, loading the dishwasher or helping the cook by cleaning the food preparation area.  

People often complain that they don't have enough time for family. Lunch as family, a rare occasion for many, can be a great opportunity to catch up with how family members are dealing with confinement, to see how others are feeling and whether they can help others cope.

After lunch, families, much like the nuns at the monastery, can help wash the dishes as a group and put things away. The time after lunch can be used to rest, read or check in with friends or co-workers by phone, she said.

Romero said she has suggested to those who are bored to be creative about prayer. If the home has a patio or a yard, use the afternoon or lunch hour to eat outside, listen to relaxing music, pray or meditate, she said.

"Changing your setting always helps," she said, "find a place to be alone and that always helps to clear your head."  

If that's a struggle, internet sites such as YouTube offer many learning opportunities, including instruction on how to pray the rosary, she said.

A lot of people tell Romero how they never learned specific prayers or to pray the rosary, so "I tell them this is your opportunity," she said. Time also can be used for self-reflection, to ask oneself whether they've wronged others and to seek forgiveness, to examine fears or to make a plan of how to help someone else who might be struggling – even if it's just through a phone call, she said.

After a bit of rest, prayer or meditation, return to work or chores, Romero said.

The time before dinner for the sisters includes a longer period of prayer, sometimes accompanied by reading as a community, then meditation that ends with prayer. After cleaning up the dinner dishes, sisters have social time or recreation time. For the Poor Clares, this can be a time to build community — an important aspect for any group that lives together.

Families can follow the sisters' example. They can cook and clean up together, have a longer time to interact and check in, play cards or board games, take part in physical activity together, watch a movie or read. A family or a person can use the time to learn a new skill, call a friend or a person who might be lonely or family members they haven't contacted in a while, or assess whether they can help the community and plan ways to do that. 

As the day ends, the sisters gather together to pray as a community, giving thanks to God and asking for a good night's rest.

Though it's good to keep informed, Romero suggested that people carve out quiet time before bed, listen to music, pray or meditate – whatever it takes to get beyond the uncertainty, she said.

She suggested that people take themselves mentally out of the "coronavirus environment," especially if it's causing anxiety.

"Light a candle and meditate," she said. "This is a great time to ask for forgiveness, to look inside the self and cleanse the soul."

Many have complained to her in the past that they never have time, "but here it is," she said.

"This can be a time for blessings," she said. "But you have to take advantage of it, to see the good side of it, and then it can be a blessed time, a time to ask for mercy, to give thanks, to think about others, to reflect."

And if nothing else, then "just ask God for mercy," she said, "but it's Lent. We're in a time of reflection. Ask God for those things that only heaven can provide us."